Ceepin' up with the Cate's: Sedate and Medicate

I would like to take a moment to discuss a little Romance. As you learned in previous posts I am not a huge fan of this phenomenon. I am good with a evening at the Lakewood's 1st and 10 or the Regal Beagle (oh how I miss that filthy place). No need for Cheesy lines and candles...blah blah blah. So with that I would like to address last night. I have watched the Bachelor since season 1 with whats his name? Mr. Forgettable! The only person I remember from that season is Trista and thats only because ABC has shoved her down out throats for years. I can't figure out why I continue to watch. That show is all about cheesy romance. If a dude said some of the things to me that they say to each other on that show I would be out of there in a New York Minute. Hearing some of those thing is like nails on a chalkboard and just makes me want to yack! I think I would rather have a guy pick me up for a date wearing Tevas and socks. I could at least deal with that. Sure I would be embarrassed going out with someone looking like a fool but I could deal with that better then "my heart was literally crying for you" and " oh baby why do I like having you in my arms so much" comments which is what Mr. Jake busted out with last night. BTW someone did use that line on me once " why do I like having you in my arms so much" My answer... I'm not sure but we need to talk. Bless his heart that was the last cheesy line he used on me. Robyn...Out.. Back to my original point... don't get me wrong normally if a guy showed up for a date with tevas and socks on I would simply shut the door and put my PJs back on but if given the choice between cheesy lines/ blowin smoke up my rear end and tevas and socks, its gonna go with Mr. tevas every time. My brother and sister use to play this game that was just impossible to play. They would come up with these ungodly situations that no one in their right mind would be able to choose between. Example: Would you rather eat a fat ugly mans booger or eat a pile of horse poo? HUH?!?!?! Really?!?!?! They would always get so mad at me because my answer was always the same... neither!!!!!! And they would say no no no you have to choose one. How is one to choose something like that. I am for damn sure not going to eat a ugly fat mans anything and horse poo isn't an option either. So I would always get expelled from the game.
I have always wondered why I have such an issue with Cheesy dudes. I am kinda a girly girl and you would think I would eat that stuff up. But instead it makes me itch and I don't fully understand why... After thinking about it for a while and going back to my childhood wondering what went wrong there that would make me so opposed to this and I think I figured it out. I blame it all on my brother. Now everyone get your minds out of the gutter... sicko's!!! Yes I'm from Arkansas but that isn't what I meant. I blame him for a very different reason that all your sick minds are thinking. He and I use to share a bathroom. We had our own toilets and sinks but we had to share a tub/shower area. I can remember every time I went to take a bath I needed to take an axe in there with me to scrape off all the boogers he had whipped on the walls. I think there was a whole booger constellation on that wall. He would also fart on me and poop in my bathroom "forgetting" to flush so that I would have a little gift the next time I would walk in. I think I grew up thinking that this is just how guys act... Nasty creatures that irritate us so much but we couldn't live without. On my mothers side I was the only girl for a while. I had 2 older cousins, both boys. And they along with my dad and uncle would fart and blame me. Yelling eeeewwwww Robyn honey your sick... I can't believe you just tooted at the table or Ugh Robyn didn't your mama teach you not to toot in public. I would insist over and over again it wasn't me before busting out in tears. I guess teasing me was a way for them to show me they cared and loved me. This in turn is what I expected all men to do and behave.
When I met my husband he always told me he would never marry a girl that didn't grow up with brothers. I never really understood why but I think I finally get it. He said this because he knew he would be able to fart on me etc..etc.. and it wouldn't faze me at all. I have never really flinched when he did something disgusting. I brushed it off as I learned to do with my brother and cousins so many years before. I was never really shocked by anything he did and I loved the fact that he new my issues with cheesy and didn't go there at all. I have always thought that we were a match made in an uncheesy Heaven. He isn't the most romantic person either and also isn't a big fan of Cheese. He took that to a whole new level a few years back while on a lovely vacation in California. We were having a fantastic trip when he brought up the idea of a day trip to Tijuana. What a wonderful idea I thought, a little day trip to sunny Mexico. Ummm Hello no one warned me that Tijuana and Cancun were not even close to the same atmosphere. I was absolutely mortified after crossing the boarder. I hadn't seen such filth since the Regal Beagle. Anyway we made the best of it and whet walking up and down the trashed streets of not so beautiful Tijuana. I was superglued onto Kevin's arm with fear that I was going to be abducted at any moment my the Mexican drug cartel. We stopped for a few beers and had decided to move on to the next destination. This is when my not so romantic and no cheese husband looks me dead in the eye with a total straight face and says "Hey Honey lets go see the XXX women and a donkey show... it'll be romantic." At this I stopped dead in my tracks, my mouth hit the filthy ground of Tijuana and ate my words. I see it clearly now...It doesn't have to be cheesy to be romantic I just has to be the furthest thing from a woman and a donkey show!!!